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By Rogerborg (Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 06:45:39 AM EST) (all tags)
Courtesy of a gaggle of greedy greasy goons.

What's that, you say?  Despite all the assurances, somebody has just realised that it's not just refined fuel in Jockland, but a third of the UK's total oil imports that will be shut off?  And it will take weeks to restore the power and thus the oil flow?  And the GGGGs are threatening to escalate the strike?

Oh my.  Oh my.


Any activity in Cabinet Office Briefing Room A yet, or are we hoping this will all just blow over and be Salmond's problem?  How come a bunch of Excitable Ethnics getting a bit over-exuberant counts as a crisis, but plunging the nation (and its Provinces) back into 1942 isn't?  Perhaps Brown will think that the Spirit of the Blitz will kick in, or he can blame the whole thing on Al Quada.

Anyone know 1,200 Poles or Latvians who can use a wrench while whining about only getting £40K and a non-contributory final salary pension?  We should use the last of our fuel to fly them in.

Root cause: most of nuLabor's funding now coming from the unions, putting them totally in hoc.  Not that it matters much, since they won't be winning the next election no matter how much they spend telling us that things have only got better.

Can we get on with bringing this clusterfuck of a government down please, and let someone else who's less indebted to the base, common and popular have a go for a while?  Not that Cameron will do much more than hug the Bolshies and try and see it from their point of view.

Me, I'd set the dogs on them.  If we don't have enough, import some.

Update [2008-4-25 13:59:2 by Rogerborg]: via IM from My Sources: shutting down the Forties facility is a way bigger issue than is currently being reported. Prepare for a leak of "Nobody panic, but..." statistics over the weekend, and don't plan to be doing, well, anything for the next month or so. We'll be lucky if the lights stay on over the whole country.

Attention Brownfidel: NATIONALISE THE WHOLE INDUSTRY AND PAY THESE UPPITY SPANNER MONKEYS WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET THEM BACK TO BASHING ROCKS TOGETHER.

And then start importing Elbonians to replace them.

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The Fuel Crisis is...
- Teh End of Civilisation!!!! 7%
- Teh End of Civilization!!!! 0%
- Irrelevant, as I live outside Jockland. 0%
- Irrelevant, as I live outside the bounds of the Empire. 15%
- Irrelevant, as I farm my own tofu herds and power my intartubes with a Smug Turbine 53%
- Adrift among the sea of Crises that encroach from every side. DOOOOOOOOM! 23%

Votes: 13
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Welcome to the Stone Age of Discontent | 54 comments (54 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I expect to see firm, decisive action by jump the ladder (4.00 / 3) #1 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 06:51:51 AM EST
From Gordon Brown. Hmm, wait a sec...



I expect he's taking decisions right now by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #3 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:07:49 AM EST
Call Tony and blubber for help, or pack a suitcase with Euros and get on the next flight to some outlaw backwater like New Zealand.  Must... decide... fast.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

I read that by Breaker (4.00 / 2) #27 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 09:43:58 AM EST
Call Tony and blubber
As "Call Tony and John Prescott".


[ Parent ]

Don't pick on Prestcott - he's had a hard time by Herring (4.00 / 2) #34 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 10:14:42 AM EST
Hanging around the Labour cabinet for a while is enough to make anyone compulsively vomit.

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. - Bill Bailey
[ Parent ]

At least you live in a country build on walking by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #2 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 06:59:55 AM EST
imagine the trouble if a significant lot of you lived in auto dependent suburbs.




Should I take the high road or the low road? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:09:46 AM EST
Which will get me to Scotchland afore ye?

21 mile commute, each way.  If I set off on Monday, I could get to work by Wednesday.

Hmm, that actually doesn't sound like such a bad idea, put like that.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

You can't take a tube, or double decker bus? by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #15 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 08:08:38 AM EST
my illusions have been trashed!


[ Parent ]

Too much danger of bumping into Hugh Grant by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #18 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 08:37:01 AM EST
Bad bump.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

Damn, son! by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #24 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 09:03:38 AM EST
That's a downright American commute you got yourself there. You'd fit right in over here if your papers are in order.

Irony: ammo says it's time. Tom is blocked.
[ Parent ]

It's farther than mine at 13 miles by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #31 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 09:59:39 AM EST
and in dire circumstances, I could even carpool with the comely lass two doors down.


[ Parent ]

I'm sensing an upcoming American Beauty diary. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #47 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 01:25:01 PM EST
Don't let me down, George.

Irony: ammo says it's time. Tom is blocked.
[ Parent ]

It is a great album, especially for summer by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #48 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 01:33:38 PM EST
as far as women, some days three in my life are too many, the girls have even been bickering over who sleeps in what bed (bunk beds versus full bed), and my potential man cave out back is full of curb picked furniture.

Besides, why do you think I am getting so strongly into ex and counter wargames, it's hard to think of a bigger sausage fest.


[ Parent ]

I think I'm persona non grata by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #41 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 11:06:35 AM EST
In that I have given away work to Open Sores projects.  That's like stealing from the mouths of hard working patriots.  White, God fearing ones.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

He's in Jockland by Herring (4.00 / 2) #5 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:16:16 AM EST
Everywhere is miles away - over yon hill.

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. - Bill Bailey
[ Parent ]

True enough by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #6 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:19:21 AM EST
Well, would you want to live next door to a Scotchman?

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

Which clusterfuck? by anonimouse (4.00 / 2) #7 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:21:16 AM EST
Isn't this a domestic problem for Scotland? Isn't Gordie patting Alex on the back and saying, "You want independence, so it's your problem."
Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL


Here's how it works by jump the ladder (4.00 / 3) #8 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:30:25 AM EST
No Petrol for the unruly and ungrateful jocks = Salmond's domestic problem

Reduced oil exports with all that juicy tax revenue for the Treasury = serious UK crisis

[ Parent ]

I wouldn't be so sure by Herring (4.00 / 1) #9 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:33:09 AM EST
I reckon the great British Public will manage to turn this into a nationwide spree of panic buying and price gouging.

I wonder what the chippie round the corner does with his waste oil ...

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. - Bill Bailey
[ Parent ]

What they both said ^^^ by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #11 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:42:28 AM EST
As I understand it, UKian refining capacity is already stretched to the limit, so the argument that All Will Be Well is bullshit to begin with.  There was already going to be a ~10% * 1 week shortfall, which didn't matter because it was Salmond's problem.

But leaving the Jocklandish situation aside, if the Forties pipeline is really down for two weeks (which now seems likely) then that means around 5 days with zero petroleum use by every man, woman and Welsh in the nation.  OK, take a week off work and work on your Zombie Shelter, but have you got a week's food left in your Y2K bunker?  Can the equivalent of the entire country really shut down for a week?

This is critical national infrastructure; a government that wasn't focussed on eating its own would have had the riot cops lock the Bolshies in by now, using their kids as hostages.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

A whiff of the grapeshot should sort things out. by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #10 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:38:55 AM EST
Pity you Scots are, historically, such peace-loving sorts, or you'd know how to deal with this.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)


You need to read on a bit by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #12 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:47:36 AM EST
I refrained from posting on't because it was just a Provincial problem.  Now it's looking a little bigger than that.  Try an equivalent loss of 5 days of total petroleum usage across the entire country.  It rather appears that during the buck passing and assurances of calm (doubtless issued while PAs were dispatched to fill both Jags) that nobody bothered to check whether there really would be a problem.  Also, IRAQ=VIETNAM+BUSH=HITLAR.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

IRAQ==HITLAR? by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #13 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:55:51 AM EST
You're a NeoCon Labour supporter, aren't you?

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)
[ Parent ]

Ah well by gpig (4.00 / 2) #14 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 07:56:56 AM EST
Less traffic makes cycling to work easier. Actually, now that I think of it, the office will be quieter too.

I don't blame the Government for this one particularly, when your infrastructure threatens a strike you're shafted whatever colour flag you're flying.
---
(,   ,') -- eep
"This option is deprecated, as it is conceptually flawed." -- man psql


Climates by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #19 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 08:39:55 AM EST
The unions know that Brown and nuLabor are weak, and utterly dependent on them, so the political pressure will be on the employers to cave, or (if Brown plays true to type) for the taxpayer to step in all sleekit like and and "fix" it.

Since the employers reportedly did cave on all the issues regarding existing staff, this now looks like political activism rather than a labour dispute.  The Bolshies are on the offensive.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

Bah, stupid self destructing Labour movement by gpig (4.00 / 1) #23 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 08:55:52 AM EST
I'd like to claim it's a Tory conspiracy, but you may well be right.
---
(,   ,') -- eep
"This option is deprecated, as it is conceptually flawed." -- man psql
[ Parent ]

Reliving history. by BadDoggie (4.00 / 1) #16 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 08:13:10 AM EST
I note that blackout curtains are all the rage in Schotchlandia, so what's the problem with a little petrol rationing for some complete nostalgic living? Go all out on the idea: impose the WWII rationing system and watch Scotchlandia's obesity problem disappear inside a year, and with the money you save on consumption and healthcare you could buy England.

woof.

OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?


The problem, as always, is that it hurts ME by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #20 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 08:42:11 AM EST
Fuck the rest of these ginger tossers; I've got a road trip to civilisation (Engerland) planned early next month.  Farmgirl's car is currently being kept in reserve, but we may have to coast over the border, and/or plough our way through the zombies stumbling along the motorways.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

Buy England? by gpig (4.00 / 1) #26 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 09:35:32 AM EST
Whatever for? It's not like we need the space.
---
(,   ,') -- eep
"This option is deprecated, as it is conceptually flawed." -- man psql
[ Parent ]

When you own the land by BadDoggie (4.00 / 2) #30 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 09:49:35 AM EST
You can kick out the squatters. Paybacks are a bitch.

woof.

OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?
[ Parent ]

Salmond: the new Putin by herbert (4.00 / 3) #17 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 08:27:06 AM EST
People have argued about who would get the oil after independence, but really the main thing is who owns the pipelines. Withholding hydrocarbons from your neighbours is rapidly becoming a proven business model.



Demonstrably, Salmond doesn't own them by Rogerborg (4.00 / 3) #21 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 08:45:17 AM EST
And Scotchland has no military - I don't think the SNLA really count - so neither can he destroy them, if we're going to get all Herbert on it.

This isn't a nationalist issue, it's mill owners versus rioting peasantry.  I'll have to check my history, but I don't recall that ever ending in anything other than an equestrian scrum and the peasantry limping back into work, muttering that they'll do better next time.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

The great thing about not driving by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #22 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 08:55:24 AM EST
Is the look of sneering, amused detachment I can now affect.

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!


Unfortunately by Breaker (4.00 / 2) #28 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 09:46:16 AM EST
The lorry that conveys produce to the supoermarket is required to be driven, though.


[ Parent ]

Good point by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #36 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 10:31:07 AM EST
But during that weird fuel crisis when those nutters blockaded the refineries, I don't remember anything much happening except me being able to laugh at queues at petrol stations.

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It's political correctness gone mad!
[ Parent ]

You take the Grauniad don't you? by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #38 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 10:59:31 AM EST
So how will I be able to tell the difference?

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

Lol [nt] by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #44 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 11:24:21 AM EST

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It's political correctness gone mad!
[ Parent ]

<granolahippie> by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #25 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 09:21:14 AM EST
But what about the carbon footprint of importing those dogs? </granolahippie>

----
I just ate about 7 pounds of meat
-theantix


Darn it by hulver (4.00 / 1) #29 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 09:47:30 AM EST
I'd better lube up the bike.
--
smart, pretty, sane. pick two - georgeha


Hot damn, yes, it is Friday by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #39 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 11:00:37 AM EST
Friday Fuckni^W Hand Holding and Tender Gazing Night!

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

Touching.. by Farmgirl (4.00 / 3) #46 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 12:08:07 PM EST
.. optimism.

I can't be bothered to change this sig.
[ Parent ]

I'll do it. by blixco (4.00 / 2) #32 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 10:04:28 AM EST
$82k a year to work a pipeline?  Fuck sake, that's like every Texan's dream job. I know a thousand guys who'll be there in a heartbeat if someone provides the transport and the BBQ.

The question is, do you want a whole gaggle of Texas in your sacred land? We tend to get along with our neighbors for a while, then we declare the place a  Republic, etc., and eventually elect a chimp into office.

But let us know if it gets dire.  We'll be there in a jiffy.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin


Bear in mind by anonimouse (4.00 / 3) #33 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 10:14:22 AM EST
I get the impression UKia living costs are higher than Texas. In the Republic, I've heard you can drive across the State for about $5 of gas. Here it costs about $1 trillion. Whilst i'm not sure of the exact state of housing north of the Wall, house prices are similarly higher; $2-400,000 buys a shed, where in Texas, you'd probably get about 40 acres attached to your home.
Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]

No shit, by blixco (4.00 / 3) #35 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 10:27:05 AM EST
and I am being totally serial here: the cost of my house, a twenty year old 1440 sq foot piece of well manufactured crap, was $125k.

I can't find a place in the US, or in the state of Texas, where I could buy anything for that price today.  The cheapest house in my neighborhood (which I would not fall for again) is $140 and it's an ex-rental ex-crackhouse.

I understand that the payoff of my mortgage (currently $116k) would buy me four square inches of south London, if I hit the seller up on a bad day when he was really jonesing for some heroin.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

$90 k usd for a 1890 sf 108 year old house by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #37 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 10:40:49 AM EST
a few blocks from me right here. Have I mentioned all the fresh water close by?


[ Parent ]

I know at least that many Latvians . . . by slozo (2.00 / 0) #40 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 11:02:46 AM EST
. . . but they're mostly upper middle class and upper class kids living in Canada and the states. Majority of them are university educated, have soft hands, and don't like using a wrench.

I should tell you some day about the work ethic of Latvian males (natives living there) after 50 years of Russky communism . . .



I await the diary with interest by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #42 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 11:08:05 AM EST
We keep hiring Russians from Old Country, who work like, well, Poles, for a few months before they figure out the whole "salaried, with European workplace laws" trick.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

Yeah, truth is . . . by slozo (3.33 / 3) #45 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 11:32:09 AM EST
. . . everyone gets lazy working an easy job.

I've seen it time and time again here in Canada, even observing some of the hardest working immigrants (my humble opinion, from my experience at dozens of jobs): west africans, chinese, koreans, philipinos, sri lankans, pakistanis. Often observed working multiple jobs, super long hours, etc. Get a cushy gov't job? Forget about it . . . work ethic goes right down the tubes, and they become demanding.

[ Parent ]

WIPO by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #43 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 11:24:20 AM EST
I did evaluate a smug turbine, but it turns out that it's actually worse for the environment than what I currently do, which is burning ethically sourced coal from Fairtrade Yorkshiremen in a 19th century steam locomotive which I've put on a treadmill that runs a generator that the Edison Electric Company retired from use in the early twentieth century. I say, did you know that it's manufacturing that uses up all the carbon dioxide which gives you asthma pollution when you buy modern technology?

So that's a 42 mile a day commute? I take it you can pretty much commute for 3 weeks on a tankful, then?

No, I'm not seeing the cause for panic here.



600 miles on one tank? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #49 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 06:26:11 PM EST
Only if I get Escher to re-engineer my route to and from work.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

That's what I get. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #50 Fri Apr 25, 2008 at 08:56:05 PM EST
I'm 75 miles in on my current tank, have only been driving very short trips, going up and down steep hills, in traffic, and the fuel needle's still a lot closer to full than to 3/4.

I only made 550 out of the last tank, though, and then had to pay £70 to refill. Still, I'm thinking it's congestion rather than terrain that's your problem. Or driving something with sparkplugs.

[ Parent ]

Cost by Herring (4.00 / 1) #51 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 06:01:24 AM EST
I noticed when the fuel cost got over 10p per mile (used to be £55 to get 650 miles, now > £70).

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. - Bill Bailey
[ Parent ]

I'm still just under 10p a mile by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #53 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 12:46:14 PM EST
The impending End of Civilisation has actually pushed me down under it again.  £6.40 for 77 miles, driving like a Jew Scotchman... actually, unstrike that last one.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

Oh, I have a girl's car by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #52 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 12:44:51 PM EST
Citroen C3 1.4.  350 miles = £33.  Based on its full capacity, it'll do closer to 450, but I never do over 350, because I hoard fuel keep a responsible reserve.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

I never thought you'd be the kind of man by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #54 Sat Apr 26, 2008 at 11:25:49 PM EST
To have a small tank.

[ Parent ]

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