I quit my job at WalMart. We had a slight mis-understanding about my salary. See, when they told me it was 12 thousand dollars, well, I just assumed they were talking about per month, whilst it turns out they meant per year. Yeah, like what evar dudes, if you want someone of my caliber on the payroll you're going to have to bring it a little stronger than that. But don't despair, gentle reader, for I have an interview with Merv's Landscaping and Tree Service next week. I don't know what they pay though, maybe 60 or 70 G's a year???

In other news I have the cleanest apartment on the planet. Bar none. Really. We're talking both spic and fucking span. In fact - here's a picture of my office - just try to find a hunk of dust there.

I've also taken up crafting. You know, scrap-booking and junk like that. I know I know, I used to think it was a sissy sort of thing to do but Oprah says it's a great stress reliever and that's good enough for me.

In other news this being on the dole is expensive. Seriously. There's nothing to do but watch soap operas and go to lunch with other people who don't have jobs (i.e., hot housewives) then go buy shit at the mall. Not that I have a problem with lunching with various housewife chicks, but I'm starting to fear that my manhood is suffering. They want to sit and talk about laundry detergents and about how their husbands don't listen to them and crap - which I listen to, being the supportive bloke that I am, but I can't really relate. Plus I've been having lunch quite a bit with my one married friend who I may or may not have a thing for (she's been quite supportive regarding my calamity doncha know. She even baked me a birthday cake ((it was my birthday last week (((go ahead and wish me Happy Birhtday ya rat bastards))) )), hell, my Mom never did that - she went to the store and bought them.) which isn't healthy at all. Why, why, why doth the Gods tempt me so.

Anyways, I need to reduce my burn rate until The Man starts sending me some dough. Speaking of which I need to go down there Monday and officially become a statistic else He won't know He's supposed to mail me some dough. Meh.

Is this Milt Romney bloke the biggest bag of hot air on the planet or what? He claims he's dropping out of the race since it's a time of war and the party needs to unite (i.e., make him the VP) to do battle against the Dem's who want to surrender to the terrists. Uh, hello? Didn't the mormon get the memo that it's not 2004 anymore? Is that really going to be their platform in 08?? Again??? If so I can see the biggest ass kicking going down regardless of whether the R's go up against the negroe or the erection killer. Especially since McAin isn't enough of a homophobe or Jesus freak to really mobilize the right-wing nutters. Truth be told if McAin gets elected it wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen. I may actually go into the booth and flip a coin to make my selection. Take that founding fathers - that's what I think of your smelly Republic and how broken it is.

Well that's it. I'm off to lunch, then, well, the Mall I guess.